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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26918734">Through Cat's Eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vintage_Wine/pseuds/Vintage_Wine'>Vintage_Wine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Fjord/Caduceus if you squint, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polymorph Spell, Spectral Cat Butlers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:13:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26918734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vintage_Wine/pseuds/Vintage_Wine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb sits in the doorway, twitching his tail a bit as he spots Mittens – the orange tabby who likely brought them their midnight snack – has settled down the table next to Caduceus. Clearly, he’s enjoying the firbolg’s gentle head rubs and back scratches. Caleb would snort a bit in jealousy as he thinks back to Jester fawning over the fluffy orange cat a couple days ago. </p>
<p>Where Caleb uses polymorph to wander around the tower and check on his friends as a cat - what he learns is how much his found family cares for him and that maybe love and affection are something he can become accustomed to again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>177</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Through Cat's Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I saw a prompt about what would happen if Caleb got caught polymorphing as a cat and just ran with it because I love that sad wizard boy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Caleb isn’t really sure how it started, when he decided to act on his curiosity of what it would be like to blend in with the ghostly servants in the form of a cat. The rest of the Mighty Nein seemed to be amused, or at least a little endeared, with the numerous cats that filled the Nascent Nein Sided Tower. Even Fjord didn’t seem to mind the numerous cats, requesting small tasks from time to time just to see how the cats seem to handle everything with ease. He can hear them all moving about the tower in the late hours of the evening as his hands weave the familiar somatic aspects for polymorph, it takes a moment before he’s inspecting himself and his surroundings.</p>
<p>It was a bit jarring to go from standing six feet tall to barely being a foot off the ground, he blinks a bit to get accustomed to his cat vision. Frumpkin, settled in one of the library’s plush chairs, cracks an eye open and gives him a look that makes Caleb think his familiar finds this amusing. Caleb flicks his tail a bit before arching his back into a long, satisfying stretch finding that he’s purring a bit softly to himself. He takes a few moments to lick over his paws and smooth out some ruffles in his fur – starting to understand why Frumpkin is so picky about his fur when he messes it up while petting him.</p>
<p>Nearby he hears a soft snore, heading over to one of the many reading nooks he finds the Brenatto Family together. Yeza and Luc were visiting for the week, and Nott had been completely enamored with showing them all the little details of Caleb’s work on the two – she’d preened like a proud mother praising her boy which still made Caleb blush sheepishly. Currently, Yeza is sprawled out among the blankets and pillows in the nook, on his back with Veth tucked under one arm and Luc under his other. The nearby table had numerous books stacked on it and strewn with parchment and ink, a candle burning nearly down to the wick. In the pile of blankets there’s children’s storybooks and notes that have Yeza’s unruly scrawl on them.</p>
<p>It’s clear that despite their family’s intent on helping Yeza with his research they ended up snuggling and reading together for some family time instead. Caleb can’t help but move closer for a few moments, a soft purr thrumming through his furry chest as he rubs up against Veth’s back. The affection he has for his constant companion and protector for the past few years is something he’s not sure he can express through speech. Words failed to express the depth of his love for her and her family, but he hopes that’s it’s clear to them through his actions – as awkward as they may be sometimes.</p>
<p>He realizes he must be purring louder than he thought when Veth very tenderly reaches over and sleepily brushes a couple fingers over the soft fur on the top of his head. He can’t help but butt his head up to the contact, still finding it a bit odd yet strangely enjoyable to experience affection as a cat. Veth smiles a bit softly as she scruffs up the cats fur along his back while whispering affectionately, “Sweet kitten.”</p>
<p>After a few tender moments, Veth snuggles closer to Yeza, and is quickly back to sleep as Caleb tries to keep his content purrs to a low rumble. Padding softly up the spiral staircase he makes his evening rounds around the tower to ensure that his companions are safe and sound. He can hear laughter and chatter, a sound that he never thought he’d find as soothing as he does – the noise and life that they bring to tower helps ease the lonely ache that Caleb’s had in his chest since as long as he could remember.</p>
<p>The same loneliness that came back with a vengeance when the party was unwilling split apart by the Iron Shepard’s – taking three of his companions into slavery and permanently taking Mollymauk from them. He’d felt Molly’s death quite keenly, sometimes when he has trouble sleeping his mind wonders back to what he could have done differently – wracked with guilt on those nights he recites his spells and practices the somatic steps over and over until he’s sure it’s all second nature. He knows it doesn’t matter now, but he hopes that his diligence and the creation of this tower will – at the very least – keep his beloved companions safe during the remainder of their travels. After all the loss and pain he’s experienced in his life, he feels like it would be a fate worse than death to lose another member of his found family.</p>
<p>A few of the cat butlers pass by him, either at their leisure or on a task, none of them seem to mind his presence. The first time he’d polymorphed himself into a cat he wasn’t sure what to expect, hoping to gain some insight into how Frumpkin sees and interacts with the world. He’d enjoyed how quick his reflexes were and that every movement he made was agile and so very graceful – he often felt quite clumsy and awkward as the rather tall, gangly human he is.</p>
<p>The second time he’d made himself a cat, he’d spent the day with the cat butlers and enjoying life’s little pleasures as a cat. He’d taken pleasure in hopping up to a window sill and settling in to soak up the sunlight that seemed to linger in his fur and kept him in a blissful state of drowsy warmth. He’d been joined by Wren and Lily, a pair of gentle natured tuxedo cats who were generally easy to please and seemed to enjoy the closeness of the other cats as well as the doting attention from the Mighty Nein. Just before the hour was up Jester had poured some cream into a couple saucers for the cats, pouring an extra one just for him to make sure that he had a chance to savor the sweet liquid</p>
<p>Tonight he’s not sure why he felt like doing his nightly routine of checking on his friends before settling to sleep as a cat, but he just goes with it. Stepping into the dining hall he can hear the gentle voice of Caduceus speaking with Fjord, the two are settled down at the table with a pot of tea and plate of snacks discussing recent events and laughing warmly. Fjord seems to be asking after rituals and holidays that patrons of the Wild Mother practice with newfound enthusiasm. The half orc is quick to assure Caduceus that he’d be honored to celebrate the upcoming holiday with him, earning a warm, appreciative smile from the cleric.</p>
<p>Caleb sits in the doorway, twitching his tail a bit as he spots Mittens – the orange tabby who likely brought them their midnight snack – has settled down the table next to Caduceus. Clearly, he’s enjoying the firbolg’s gentle head rubs and back scratches. Caleb would snort a bit in jealousy as he thinks back to Jester fawning over the fluffy orange cat a couple days ago. He knows it’s a little ridiculous to be jealous of a cat. He scolds himself mentally, reminding his baser nature that it would be selfish and controlling to be upset that Jester shares her joy and affection so freely with everyone around her. Even though he hates to admit that he’s a little jealous of how much affection Mittens had gotten from the boisterous cleric.</p>
<p>He didn’t say anything then but now his cat instincts are over riding his human sensibilities. His pointed ear twitches in irritation – his tail and the fur along his back puffing up – padding on fluffy paws he hops up onto the table. Mittens gives him a wary look, tail flickering about a bit nervously before he gets up and slinks away sheepishly. Caleb knows he’ll have to make it up to the poor fellow later, giving him treats and some extra cuddles for all the trouble – the pour guy probably doesn’t understand that the wizard is pining after Jester. He’s just a cat butler, doing his job and soaking up the affections and treats he can get when they’re offered.</p>
<p>Caleb’s thoughts are interrupted when a pair of very large, yet gentle hands lift him up and cradle him against an equally large chest. He’s frozen for a moment until he hears Caduceus hum comfortingly, stroking a calming hand over the cat’s back to sooth him and flatten his fur back down before rubbing tenderly behind his ears. Caleb calms a bit, but still looks over at Fjord with wild, owlish eyes, the half-orc still chuckling at his little annoyed spat with Mittens.</p>
<p>The half orc wonders aloud, “I probably should have asked Caleb if all the cats get along with one another – not sure I’m too comfortable trying to break up a cat fight should one break out. There’s just so many of them!”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sure they get along fine, and Caleb seems quite fond of them,” Caduceus reminds, knowing that the wizard found a great deal of comfort being surround by the spectral cats. The man could often be found with Frumpkin draped around his neck like a scarf or curled up in the library in a nest of spectral cats – similar to the horde of cats that Jester invites to her room for cuddles and treats.</p>
<p>“At least I’m not allergic to the spectral cats,” Fjord says as he huffs out a laugh recalling his allergies acting up when he first met Caleb and Frumpkin.</p>
<p>“I’m sure Caleb kept that in mind, and if you ever need anything for allergies there’s a variety of remedies I can make for you,” Caduceus assures quickly, wanting to make sure that Fjord knew that he could always come to him if something was wrong.</p>
<p>“Caleb put a lot of work into this spell – he doesn’t say much about his feelings about us and sometimes it’s hard to figure out where you stand with him. But it’s quite clear he cares deeply about us,” Fjord says quite seriously, brow furrowing as he thinks about the wizard and how much Caleb means to him and to the others in the group. “I just wish that we could do the same for him, let him know that we care just as deeply about him.”</p>
<p>“With all the trauma he’s experienced it’s going to take time for him to heal enough to accept love and affection, but he’s starting to get there. We just need to keep reminding him and be patient,” Caduceus assures easily, before looking down as the blue cat cuddled up against his chest peering up at him are a pair of familiar blue eyes. He smiles softly at him, setting the cat on the table in front of him and smoothing out the fur that he’s mussed up before giving him a subtle wink – he knew it was hard for Caleb to accept affection as a human but he’s quite happy to give him the affection he deserves in a way he’s comfortable with.</p>
<p>The tea kettle on the table whistles as the water starts to boil, breaking the ambiance briefly. Caduceus starts to make tea for himself before looking to Fjord and asking, “One more cup of tea before bed?”</p>
<p>“Sure, I’m really starting to enjoy this routine,” Fjord states amiably, pushing his cup and saucer towards Caduceus with a grateful smile – desiring to be in the firbolg’s presence for a little while longer. He reaches over and ruffles the fur at Caleb’s scruff while telling him, “Try not to be too hard on Mittens.”</p>
<p>Caleb isn’t sure what to make of what just transpired, tail flicking against the table in agitation as he wonders if both Caduceus and Fjord are on to him already. He reminds himself that he’ll have to ask Caduceus how he knew that the blue furred cat was him under his polymorph spell and not one of the dozens of other cats wandering the tower. The firbolg was frighteningly insightful, it used to make Caleb nervous and uncomfortable in the man’s presence. It was difficult to adjust to being around someone that could look at you and see all your thoughts and fears laid bare without you having to say anything at all.</p>
<p>Caleb feels a bit restless, leaving the two men behind to their conversation as it turns more private – not only to give them the privacy they deserve but to also check in with the others. He wanders for a bit, pacing down the hallways until he hears laughter coming from Beau’s room. He’s not sure if he should go see what she’s up to when he hears Yasha’s laughter too. But the door is wide open so he hazards a peek, looking around the door frame to find the two women are sitting on Beau’s bed together. Beau has papers and a couple books strewn about, Caleb finds it amusing that the monk would argue until she’s blue in the face and then punch the person that pointed out that she is kind of a nerd.</p>
<p>Yasha has a fluffy white cat, Snowball, settled contently in her lap, and nearby sprawled out and purring on the comforter is a rather large, calico. Both are purring as the barbarian tenderly dotes on each of them, lazily brushing her fingers through their fur as she talks to them. Yasha’s cradled Snowball in her arms, rocking her gently and cooing at her like one would a human baby which Caleb finds deeply amusing. Beau doesn’t seem to find it as amusing as she finishes up Yasha’s braid, leaning in to press a few kisses along the barbarian’s neck.</p>
<p>“All these cats are going to give me performance anxiety,” Beau deadpans as she gives the cats a bit of a jealous look, but it’s gone the second Yasha turns her smile on her. She has to admit it’s adorable to see Yasha so soft and happy as she lavishes the cats with attention. It was adorable, but she only has so much patience when she wants all that loving attention turned her way. Caleb can understand Beaus jealousy quite well, finding it amusing that they’re rather similar in that regard.</p>
<p>“Oh I doubt that,” Yasha says with a salacious grin as she tugs Beau into a kiss before setting Snowball down gently, “Sorry you two, but we can cuddle again tomorrow – I’d like some time alone with Beau right now if you don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, time to go,” Beau says as she carefully picks up the two cats and carries them to the door only to find a bluish grey, short haired cat sitting in the doorway watching her with striking blue eyes. Shaking her head, she barks out a slightly forced laugh while reaching out to ruffle up the blue cat’s fur, “Christ Caleb - there are just so many cats.”</p>
<p>“They’re adorable,” Yasha states as she stretches out to make herself comfortable among the many pillows on Beau’s bed. Clearly, the barbarian has made herself at home in the monk’s room Caleb thinks amusedly – hoping that the unresolved romantic tension between the two will hopefully be a thing of the past soon.</p>
<p>Beau sets the two cats down in the doorway with the blue one, shaking her head as she reaches for the doorknob while telling the three sets of wide eyes rather seriously, “Go on now, Yasha and I would like some privacy if you don’t mind – you’ll figure it out when you find a girlfriend or boyfriend. Geez, now I’m talking to the cats too!”</p>
<p>Caleb turns away as Beau shuts the door, padding softly towards his part of the tower when he hears soft humming and talking coming from Jester’s room. He pauses momentarily, wondering if the woman is drawing or painting while chatting to the Traveler. The door is closed a bit so he doesn’t think about intruding until he sees the other two cats slip through the narrow space into Jester’s room. A couple of the other cats have made their way up the stairs, heading into Jester’s Room without a single bit of hesitation.</p>
<p>“Oh, Snowball and Charlie! Come on in, you’re just in time for treats,” Jester chirps happily, greeting all of the cats and remembers quite a few of their names and telling the ones that she doesn’t know that she’ll have to ask Caleb about their names tomorrow – promising to eventually learn them all.</p>
<p>Caleb finds his paws are taking him into Jester’s room before he even realizes what’s happening, his body and mind find the thought of spending time in Jester’s room more comforting than the recreation of his old room in Trent’s basement. As he enters the room he’s quite surprised at the number of cats that have taken over Jester’s room.  In the soft lantern light, he can make out Wren and Lilly already curled up with a half dozen other cats in the middle of Jester’s bed, dozing contently and grooming one another lazily. Another couple of cats are wrapped up in the bed’s canopy that spills onto the floor while others are settled on the tops of the furniture careful not to disturb Jester’s things.</p>
<p>Jester is sprawled out on the bed on her stomach, laughing as a couple more cats join her on the bed. She’s talking to them as she draws in her sketchbook, handing out little treats she’d gotten for them on her last trip to a market and conjuring the tiny unicorn guardians for them to bat at playfully. She remembers that Caleb said they’re cats kind of like Frumpkin so they don’t need to eat but at the same time she’s pleased that they don’t seem to mind the treats. She ruffles their fur, scratches behind their ears and indulges them with headbutts while laughing.</p>
<p>Caleb watches from the doorway, feeling an awful lot like a voyeur as he watches Jester talk to the, dozen or so, cats and doodle in her sketchbook. He’s absolutely mesmerized by her, even more so now than when he first met the bubbly, affectionate teifling by chance in Trostenwald. He watches as her freckled nose wrinkles adorably when she chuckles at Mitten’s – sprawled in the heap of cats’ - chatter and whine as he stretches to get more scratches. It took him a while to realize that while Jester was genuinely that joyous, that she still dealt with a lot of things he did – feelings of loneliness and a desire to please and protect others, especially their found family. The warmth in his chest when she’s around is still new and frightening, and while he aches to be closer to her he doesn’t intend to act on these feelings.</p>
<p>He’s so lost in adoring thoughts that he doesn’t realize that Jester has laid eyes on him until he hears her soft voice calling out. Blinking he looks over to Jester, only to make eye contact at which she grins and waves to him while cooing at him, “Hey handsome, come on over, there’s plenty of room up here for you too.”</p>
<p>Caleb knows he probably shouldn’t, and at the moment he should be grateful that cats can’t blush or stumble nervously over their words. Putting one paw in front of another, he makes his way over to the edge of the bed, scolding himself that this is such a terrible idea. His mind also screams at him that he’s spent 46 minutes of the hour already, leaving a matter of minutes’ left on the spell. He feels hands around his middle lifting his feet off of the ground before being settled onto a soft spot beside Jester.</p>
<p>He freezes for a moment until she hums comfortingly to him while brushing her fingers through his fur tenderly. Caleb wonders why he finds it so much easier to accept affection from his friends while he’s a cat – feeling a little bit ashamed of himself that he can’t find the courage to accept the love he so longs for in his normal form. Jester keeps talk to him like normal, “I was working on a few ideas for a new mural and a picking up a few more things for our friends. I know of a couple plants that Caduceus might want to include in a new garden and I’m hoping to find more books that Caleb hasn’t read yet.”</p>
<p>Jester leans over to the nightstand and picks up another of her sketchbooks, holding it up for the cat to see and pointing out things on a few pages as she chatters away.  Caleb can see the many delicate sketches of flowers and plants, soothed by her voice as she talks to him. He zones out pleasantly and doesn’t even stiffen when she boops him on the nose before reaching back to scratch the kitten soft fur behind his ears that makes his eyes drift close and his chest start to rumble. After a couple more minutes Caleb’s already in a drowsy haze from the gentle caresses over the top of his head and down his back, eyes blinking slowing to try and stave off sleep. Another minute slips by as he curls up a bit closer to Jester, promising that he’ll only close his eyes for just a second.</p>
<p>Caleb falls asleep for longer than a few minutes, so much so that when he wakes up next he nearly startles, he remembers being a cat and in Jester’s room. He goes to sit up trying to get his bearings and figure out how badly he fucked up, seeing that polymorph has clearly worn off. Gentle hands guide him to lay back down, as a few cats curled up around him grumble and whine at being woken up so abruptly.</p>
<p>“Lay back down Cay-leb, it’s okay,” Jester coaxes as she rests a hand against his cheek, stroking her thumb over the soft stubble there. She can tell he’s started to panic when he doesn’t need to.</p>
<p>“I’m – Jester, I -I,” Caleb stammers out anxiously, an apology already on his lips as he wonders how bad the fallout of his actions are going to be.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Jester assures as she sits up in bed beside him, smiling at him as she tucks errant strands of red hair behind his ear. She can already see the tears welling up in his eyes as he continues to try to get the apology out. Looking at him with all the warmth and affection she’s developed for him, she tells him softly, “I knew it was you, Caleb – I’m pretty sure everyone has noticed the same cat has appeared to check up on everyone in the evenings.”</p>
<p>Caleb isn’t sure what to say, he wonders how long they’ve all known he’s been wondering around the mansion as a cat. He thought he was being subtle enough, that they’d be too busy to notice that he wasn’t available in his human form, it was only an hour on days he did not use all his spell slots. There’s a small tremor running over him, and as usual his words are failing him when it matters the most. Before he can start stammering through another apology Jester tugs him back until he’s laying among the blankets and pillows again. Jester snuggles up next to him and now his brain has lost all focus and his mouth remains parted but no words come out – not even his usual nervous stuttering.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Caleb,” Jester tells him tenderly with a soft smile, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek just to reassure him and to test out this newfound intimacy between the two of them.</p>
<p>Caleb freezes at the soft brush of lips against his stubbly cheek, he feels a rush of warmth and affection flood his body. A sensation that he didn’t think he was quite capable of experiencing again – but it sparks the same excited, giddy feelings that it did the first time he felt it years ago. It feels like it was almost a life time ago that he felt this way for anyone, but something also feels different and new about this time around. It takes a moment for his body to relax as he settles into the comfortable bed and Jester snuggling up to him, resting her head against his chest.</p>
<p>Caleb takes in a shuddering breath before whispering brokenly, “I don’t deserve this – I can never be deserving of your love…”</p>
<p>“That’s not how love works,” Jester tells him patiently, brushing her fingers over the rough fabric of Caleb’s shirt – reminiscent of when she was petting his fur.</p>
<p>“Ja, you are probably right…but I lose the things I love…the people I love…” he stammers out nervously, knowing that he’s the common denominator in all the loses he’s experienced in his relatively young life. He also knows he’d never be able to forgive himself if he brought that kind of loss into his friends lives – especially Jester’s.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to lose us,” Jester promises quickly, resting a calming hand against his chest feeling him relax a bit, “We love you Caleb, I love you, and I’ll keep telling you over and over again until you believe it – however long that takes.”</p>
<p>Caleb’s quiet, he’s still not sure he can ever be deserving of her love – or even her friendship – most days, but he wants to try. Tears have welled up in his eyes because of her kindness, his throat is constricting from the emotion as well making it hard to answer. So Caleb just nods as the first few tears trail down his cheeks, he reaches a shaking hand up to claps Jester’s as gently as possible. She squeezes it reassuringly and starts to hum softly, it doesn’t take long for the exhausted wizard to drift into a rather peaceful sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you've got any ideas for short critical role things go ahead and drop them in the comments - I love these chaotic disasters.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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